


Words Said

by lil_1337



Category: Defying Gravity (1997)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-01-16
Updated: 2010-01-16
Packaged: 2017-11-07 00:04:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/424680
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lil_1337/pseuds/lil_1337
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John muses over the changes in his life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Words Said

The sound of the garbage truck yanked John out of a deep sleep and he found himself in the middle of the bedroom, adrenaline rushing through his veins, before he was awake enough to realize what he was doing. It was the first time since he’d moved into Pete’s place that he’d had that reaction, but then last night was the first one Pete had been home since the beating. Home, healthy, and in one piece the thought brought an immediate grin to John’s face as he crossed the room as silently as possible and slipped back under the covers, careful not to wake his still sleeping lover.

Gone were the fears John had carried for so long. He was gay, people knew, and it was okay. In fact, it was amazing. He had the man he was in love with, Todd was still his best friend, and for the most part he was still on good terms with the rest of his frat brothers. There were a few guys who weren’t comfortable with who he was, but for once in his life John no longer cared about what other people thought of him. What mattered was Pete. Making him happy and keeping him safe from the McDougals and Smittys of the world was the only thing John knew for sure he wanted to spend his life doing. If he could do that then everything else would fall into place in time.

Instinctively John tightened his hold on Pete causing him to moan softly and shift in his sleep. Cringing, and forcing himself to relax, John loosened his embrace slightly. Pete might have been given a clean bill of health from his doctor, but he was still stiff, sore and more than a little bruised in places. Probably more so now than he had been the previous afternoon when he had signed the discharge papers. That thought made the already goofy smile on John’s face widen into his signature little boy grin.

Their love making had been slow and gentle, full of kisses and words of love in direct contrast with their first time together. John’s denial of who he was and what his relationship with Pete was all about had always made him hold back and keep himself emotionally separated on some level. Physically, he and Pete had enjoyed it when they had sex, but even as he had been falling for Pete, John had convinced himself they were just two guys getting off and it meant nothing beyond that. It hadn’t been fair and being on the other side now, allowing himself to actually feel and kiss, it made him wonder why Pete had ever been willing to settle for anything less.

That night in the parking lot when Pete had said he was tired of waiting for John to figure out his life was a lie he had been indignant, filled with righteous justification for his behavior. Now he understood the truth in the words and it broke his heart just a little every time he thought of it. That night had been a turning point in their relationship. His words had torn them apart and put Pete in a situation that could have cost him his life. The guilt that came with that knowledge left a yawning pit in John’s stomach.

He was focusing on the future; John reminded himself, blinking back tears. Things had changed since he’d kissed Pete in the hospital room. He’d made the decision then that whatever Pete wanted he would get. John was no longer scared of the waking up next to you, breakfast, and dates that had been asked of him before. He’d seen the very real possibility of what it would be like to live his life without Pete and that was worse than the stares of strangers or the disapproval of people he might care about. He knew now, really knew, who he was and what he needed to be happy. By really accepting who and what he was he had found himself, his lover, and a means to never be weighed down by gravity again.


End file.
